Power of prayer...

It's an amazing thing. There isn't anything that could or will ever be able to compare to what prayer can do.



I had some time with a mentor of mine today. We discussed a lot that had been on my mind and I'm becoming so much more honest about myself with myself. We got on the topic of relationships, whether it be romantic, family, or friend wise. This mostly applies to the romantic relational aspect of things though. After going through the go rounds of where I put my heart out on line before, my mentor asked me... "do you really know what you want in that future mate??, because it seems as if you've just been testing the waters." The funny part about it is... yeah I know exactly what I want but here's the sad part... I've always felt as if I didn't deserve it. I know someone who sets the example of exactly what God and I have talked about together but I feel like he deserves better than me. I feel as if he is so much more spiritually advanced than I am. So I've taken myself down to a level of what "I think" I deserve... not what God thinks.



I long so deeply to have that relationship with someone where we can share our passion for the Lord together. The guys I've dated... yeah they've been Christian... or at least claimed to be. But while talking about all this today I realized, every relationship I've been in has never been that relationship where we could sit down and pray together. I've prayed for every relationship I've been in, taken it to God and done my best to make Him center of it... but if he isn't doing the same then it all stays one sided. I was reading through the book of James today (it's my favorite so I tend to read it a lot) and I came across this verse:



"Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with." James 5:16



Praying together is just as important as praying separately. Praying for each other is SOOOO important. And a man that isn't afraid to pray out loud... ask for prayer... I find that as the most amazing quality. I long for that, to share that with the one God has molded me to be with. And I haven't found that. Maybe that's where I've been going wrong... I know every time I get into this that at that point when I know that prayer is not something that can easily be set out on the table and we take advantage of that opportunity together, that its not right... but I keep pushing for that. Why?? Because I think this is what I deserve... someone who claims to be all the Christian stuff, goes to church, has "some" morals... but doesn't act on them 24/7... their only a part time Christian. I can't do that. I'm at a point now where I'm not craving these worldly things but I crave the word of God, I crave to praise Him, worship Him, do for Him.... and if I can't share that with someone who is so much a part of my life that I could consider spending the rest of my life with them... then its not right. I deserve what God has planned for me... and I can't settle for less than that in this life.

I'm running this race... going for one prize and one prize only. And for this future guy... I pray he is running that race for the same prize and has that same desire.