Back in 2006, I hit a point that is very similar to the one I'm in right now. Heart break is what it was to be exact. I had dealt with that for months and months. And for months and months that year I already knew what you are about to read... it just took me 8 months to admit that to myself. Whats in bold below crossed my mind today. I wrote it back in November of 2006. It's funny how years later something that you once knew is something that you just totally forget. I wouldn't say I ever forgot it... but I got to a point of not believing it for awhile, to a certain extent. Something called me to read it again... to remind myself... this is what love is, and nothing or no one can take this love from me.
November 13, 2006
This feeling I hold is like no other. It's been a long time, if ever, that I've felt this way. I've finally found what I've been looking for, forever, I guess you could say. The love of my life has been right in front of me for so long but I just couldn't see it. Hearing him speak this weekend made me realize how blind I've been to it all. It's turned my heart in ways I can't explain. I'm in love and there's no way anyone can ever take it from me. This man I can't even describe. Words could never be enough to explain how wonderful he is. My eyes light up at the thought of him and my heart skips a beat every time I feel him near. Butterflies fill my stomach every time I speak of him. A smile fills my face hearing his name. My life has been nothing to this point. He's everything I've been looking for and completes me like no other. I'm truly the luckiest woman ever. He listens and never judges... promises he will never leave me and will always love me forever. What more could any woman ever ask for. I just hate that I've been a fool so long and never realized it before. I've grown up with him and he's been right in front of me this whole time. How stupid could I have been to let the love of my life just pass me by over and over. I could have never asked for a better friend. He's been there to listen to me every time I've needed him. He's watched the tears fall and comforted me when they hit the pillow. He gave it all up for me so I could have this wonderful life I live everyday. The love of my life is not just any man... he is Jesus Christ. I live for this man and he is the prince in my life. I've finally found the love that I've longed for.
My heart is his and he will never break it. I could not ask for a better love.
Being reminded by my self of something I myself tried to tell so many hits harder than hearing it from even the ones you care most about. I know God has a reason in all this. (If you all haven't noticed by now... I don't deal with breakups well... especially when your feelings hit the point mine did... which hasn't happened in years). But I do believe God places some people in your life just to get you back on track. And yeah... unfortunately sometimes it takes a big bad event to make you realize that you're not on track, but you pick up your pieces, you pick up your life, you pick up your cross and you carry on... following Him. No one said it would be easy... but the reward is worth every trial, every bit of pain, every heart break, and every moment of struggle.
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