For instance... Space (n)... it has 19 different meanings (according to dictionary.com) and that's just in noun form. The 11th meaning of "space" -- extent, or a particular extent, of time. The 12th meaning of "space" -- an interval of time; a while.
Do some people not know that one word can mean so many different things. I'M A SPECIFICS KINDA PERSON!!!! I need to be in the know. So which meaning of space do you want... because ya know, space can go on and on and on and on and on.... ect... forever. Is that the space we are referring to here? I wouldn't know because I haven't been told.
Funny how a woman's mind would work like this... but a guy says space and he would never even begin to think... I wonder which space I mean by saying "space". It's frustrating when trying to learn that the way I feel and think and express emotions and love and care is going to be different than the way someone else does. You'll never find another you I guess is what I'm getting at. Thankfully, I'm blessed to have a set of friends (Aunt and Uncle to be exact) that understand what I'm going through. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE, THANK YOU GOD!!!! She's on my side of this space thing. The word space is like a stab to the heart for a girl... even if that's not the intentions. Him on the other hand... he says space is just space. But that's the complexity of the male and female minds. We, as women, want to so badly to be loved in the same way we are giving it. We think that if you don't show it that way that hey... maybe you don't feel the same way. Then we tell you that... and you think... hey maybe you're right. But what I'm having to learn and I mean really really learn is it isn't going to be the same. That's what makes it so special too. Uncle had to explain this to me.... Sometimes women just talk, and we as men don't like to talk, so we listen because we like hearing you talk. Then you talk to much... and all you're saying becomes all we're thinking. And we think... since we don't feel or think the same as you that we are doing something wrong. So sometimes you just need to not talk so much. Sometimes you need to give us that "space" so we can think for ourselves and realize all these things on our own.
Oh this is so hard. Patience has been my prayer for today. Lord, just give me patience. The best that I can do now is just learn to give space.... and not try to find its meaning by actually invading the space. It sucks... Just FYI. Big time. Thankfully... Aunt understands what I'm going through because her and Uncle have been there, so she's been a wonderful shoulder to lean on. I know I'm not alone in this. God is there with me. But it's also nice to know that God has people in my life that understand and have placed them in a spot to give me a little bit of another perspective besides the one I keep giving myself. Not to say they are right or wrong.... So I try to not see into it to literally, but Uncles words have helped.... He's helped me see it from the male point of view. And I get it... I just have a hard time accepting it. I feel like if I give space, I'm giving up. And Aunt said she felt the same way, but trust in God. He has a plan and if this space is short lived or for forever... either way it will be what God wants for you both.... Sigh... Again... Dude, God just give me paaaaaaaaaatience.
On a better note... I did some retail therapy today... some modest retail therapy of course. I'm a "I'm on a budget" gal these days... but buying a new purse helped me feel just a tad bit better for a moment. Now I'm just looking forward to going out and using it. YAY!
Sigh.... (and it is a really big one at this point)
And again... Lord, patience. That and You is all I need.
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