Crazy how it works, isn't it?

This morning I set down and read 1 Peter. It was on my mind for some reason. I had so many things pop out at me as I read that pertained so much to all that I'm going through. I'll share those in the midst of this, but there was one scripture that cried out to me as I read it. It's crazy how it went along so well with what I talked about yesterday... Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3.
Since my... oh melt down i guess you would call it... this past Sunday night... I guess you could say I've realized that I was tasting from all the "oh so good" plates and totally passing over the best one of them all. I had no place else to turn to except back to God, and I think (well I know) that's exactly what He wanted me to do. I had gone so far from where I needed to be and was tasting from all these plates that would soon go empty. They never had time to refill because I just kept taking and taking from them. I wasn't going for the plate that would always remain full. And its not that He wants me so much to stay away from these other plates, but He wants me to taste whats on His too (more than the rest) and not just get stuck scarfing down one of the others. As long as I know His plate will remain filled and that I can eat all I want from it, its ok to go to the others and have some but in moderation. Its like mom telling you you cant have dessert before you've eaten your dinner. I can't have love, a relationship, and all the above, till I first take in what I have on His plate that He has given me (the love with Christ, the relationship with Him.) Otherwise... I will never grow strong (spiritually) and I'll end up tired and full on junk which does nothing good for my life. He will provide the "sweet tasty things" when I'm healthy enough to manage them. That might not make ANY sense to anyone but my mind is going crazy with these things.
If you haven't caught on by now, I'm dealing with major heart break. The heart break had led to a lot of good things. I've turned my tables back to God and I'm getting to a place in my relationship with Him I've never been at before. (For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:25) Its a wonderful feeling. But the heart ache is still there and its made me so sick this week. I've leaned more on the Lord than I think I ever have and I'm seeing a difference in myself and its only been a week. I've had to remove the burdens I was carrying... and man were they heavy.. Forgiveness is an amazing thing (Humble yourselves, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7) I think that's been the hardest part. Giving it all to Him. I'm such a "on my time" kinda person that I want it all fixed now or I wanna do it my way, but my way and my time are getting me: no appetite, no sleep, constant worry, and anxiety beyond any that I've ever felt. Does me no good at all. I just have to trust in the Lord that he taking care of me just like the scripture says. He has a plan for my life, and it might not be the plan I have. I just have to trust that He knows what He's doing and in time, my heart will heal and life will be good as long as I walk with Him.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10