Is it a lie if you don't elaborate the truth??

I've been struggling with this for the past few days. Would it be a lie if you told the truth but not the whole truth? I mean nothing that came out of my mouth was a lie, I just thought it would be best to withhold the rest of the information. ---Why you may ask? Because....

This situation is not an easy one... it's more of an awkward one. If I tell the truth I can almost guarantee that I'll lose this friend again. Not because the truth is a bad thing but because it would make an already awkward situation... well... more awkward. But I feel like I'm withholding something I should say. So do I step out of my comfort zone, again per say, wear my heart on my sleeve, have that confidence that I have in my dreams and say the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God -OR- do I save my heartache, our friendship, and the feelings of others by living a lie?

It's a tough call because now I'm starting to wonder about the "what-ifs." What if I did tell the WHOLE truth and it didn't ruin the friendship? Would I feel better or worse about the situation if I just said everything I've needed to say for a really long time? I guess in some way I have been lying... maybe to this friend or maybe just to myself, trying to convince myself that either way is a good way to go. But I'm sure the friend would agree that it is better this way... leaving the whole truth out of it. We've been through it before and the truth got me to a point of regret, sadness, and our friendship in the pits. Do I really want to take that chance again? Do we become more understanding as we get older? I would hope so but wouldn't bet on it when it comes to this.

I guess now the real question that I'm asking myself is... is it a real friendship or not? I've been reevaluating the past few years and I think I'm realizing that who this person was a friend years ago left when they threw away our friendship the first time. I've been wanting that friend back but we've both gotten older, things in our lives have changed and we are not the same people. Still though-- You try to be a good person, put yourself out there as a friend, you open doors, you welcome them in, you make the effort, and sometimes you feel like you are the ONLY one taking those steps to make it all work and they take advantage of that when they want to, otherwise you're just another acquaintance to them-- maybe I'm wrong and this is just how they are but I haven't seen them stepping forward. I never had an expectation with our friendship but they have always made it seem like they thought I have. If ever even been given the chance to tell the whole truth the FIRST time they would understand that... but we were young and I don't think understanding was in this persons top priorities at the time.... Or listening skills weren't their forte because I tried explaining it all then. Only if I had the guts enough to say this to them... but again, its an awkward situation and I don't want to make it more of that.... whether it seems intentional or not-- and they would most likely take it as intentional.

I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot. Either I continue to lie to this "friend" for the sake of both of our feelings so that no one gets hurt, or I say it all and pray that God leads my choice of words, the friends choice of words, and both of hearts all back to Him so that it can be an honest God-centered friendship. I don't want to live with regret but I also don't want to live without this friend, whether they drive me insane with their lack of friendshiply skills or not.

Todays discovery: I thought I already knew life wasn't easy... but this just reassures the fact that I know that even in the smallest petty of situations- its not. UGH.